How to Save Your Relationship By Giving More Private Space

Published: 10th December 2009
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Do you know that spending too much time with your partner will hurt your relationship? Most of us wouldn't believe it because we feel that spending time together allows us to know our partners better. However, we should take into account that each individual needs adequate space for self-growth.

There must be a healthy balance between ME (individual needs) and US (needs of relationship). A simple equation can explain this:

"ME + ME = US"

Too much "ME" can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much "US" can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.

You must learn to achieve an equilibrium of family, friends, love, work and self. So how do you nurture your individuality?

1. Go and take part in an activity which you can enjoy even if you are alone. Go and sign up for some classes in which you have interest such as dance or aerobics classes. After sometime, you will discover that you are a much happier person with more private time for yourself. This is because you have actually learned new skills and this is part of self-growth.

2. Try hanging out more frequently with your best friends. Update them on what has been going on in your life. Your partner will be able to join your social circle easier this way.

3. You can spend the weekends with your family. You can always bring your family out for a movie or lunch to have some family bonding.

Your partner and you should decide on a comfortable amount of "ME" time for each other. Some couples are perfectly fine with seeing each other at every waking moment.

To really understand the amount of "ME" time you need, try out the following tips.

1. Communicate with your partner and discuss the amount of time both of you would like to spend together each week. Reach a consensus and make sure you stick to it.

2. Acknowledge and understand your partner's commitments outside your relationship. Grant your partner more individual space if necessary. Each individual needs space and time for self-growth.

3. Build up your self-confidence and trust your partner. Do not think that giving your partner some alone time to spend equals to giving them time to mess around outside.

Once your partner and you have decided to give each other more private space, both of you should also give each other enough trust.

It might be loving to spend time together, but you need to remember that all of us need space to do our own stuff too.

You must understand that your life does not revolve around your relationship only!


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